My 100th Episode

Boundaries Make Things Possible.

Dear Reader,

I recently came across my final project from my Master Coach Training in the fall of 2017. It was a PowerPoint-presentation meets-screen-recording in which I told everyone what I had done all summer, which was... branding my business, curating thematic images, and amassing a mess of unfulfilled goals.

It was humbling. I had to upload something to our group forum by midnight Eastern Time (I am on Central) and I had run out of time. So I pieced together photos of artifacts with captions as a digital scrapbook, and ruminated on what I hadn't yet gotten done.

That summer, I had also completed a new manuscript draft for my first book and co-planned all the events for my 25th college reunion, clocking in more hours than any other volunteer...

I helped my classmates come up with our theme:

Come as you are.

But that didn't really count, right? Right? Sigh...

Back to that video... I described all these shiny objects.

And then for my dismount, in a Sally Fields moment, I launched into a fawning monologue, something along the lines of: I really want you all to like me. I hope you all like me anyway. Thanks for letting me be here in your Master Coach Training cohort.

Finally I sang All You Need is Love.

So mortifying.

So self-flagellating.

So not up to my honor student persona.

When in fact, I had never tried anything like this before.

So how about this:

So courageous. One might even say, a Courageous Wordsmith.

I shared the recording because it was all I had. After several failed attempts to upload larger files, even this one took forever to upload due to my bandwidth, but I wanted certification.

Crickets from my supposed peers. It was a lot.

Our Master Coach leader, bless her, responded with one comment: "Have you ever considered a podcast? Just saying."

I look back on that former me, so dejected, and I am beyond grateful. All the foundations she laid out? They're the basis for EVERYTHING I am doing right now. On so many levels. At this distance I understand: when you're breaking down old systems that no longer serve people, creating a whole new worldview, (which is what I was doing) TEMPLATING. TAKES. TIME.

When you don't know what your calling looks like, but you feel it, you are creating it out of thin air. Meandering is what's called for.

Why am I telling you this? Three reasons.

First:

As things are breaking down in the most painful way, we can look at what we really care about and put our energy towards sustaining that. That's where we focus our love.

I no longer try to convince people to like me. I don't have the bandwidth for that when what I'm here to do is so important.

And my creative spirit deserves nothing but kindness.

Second:

I went through Master Coach Training at one of the very lowest times in my entire life. My teaching career of twenty years had ended the previous year, and the shock had finally worn off, so I was feeling my fragility. BUT... I started that podcast.

My guest was Sarah Bamford Seidelmann, whom I reached out to and invited based purely on the fact that she was a Minnesota author who earned Master Coach Certification ahead of me.

And now, Sarah's my guest for my 100th episode, where we talk about her workbook Boundaries Make Love Possible, and I know that former me would have gotten a lot out of reading her words. But / and / also the struggles I faced were exactly what I required to break through my conditioning and do what I was put here on earth to do. I know that's a bold statement. But I believe it.

So if this is speaking to you, and you're pretty sure you have something important to say, even if you aren't yet clear on what, and you might be nervous like I was, I invite you to listen.

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Third:

I no longer ask to belong where I don't. BUT I'm very good at finding kindred creatives with something to say and inviting them into my world. I can acknowledge where they are on the path and introduce them to fellow writers in process.

So if this sounds interesting to you, you might want to check out my Circle for Real-Life Writers. It even has a space to share writing that hasn't yet arrived, but reveals promise.

You are not as far off from the path as you think.

Wherever you find yourself, travel safely.

Love,

Amy

PS—You might want to save the date for my Midsummer Writing Revival, 2–8 on June 28 in Prior Lake, Minnesota. Writing Circle members get early-bird access to sign up for limited spaces.

Just saying.

I'm Amy Hallberg, author of Tiny Altars: A Midlife Revival and German Awakening: Tales from an American Life. I'm also an editor, podcaster, and creative mentor. Contrary to the address below, I'm a lifelong Minnesotan writing from the Twin Cities.

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